Why Clark Kent is so much cooler than Superman

1) He actually has a real job with a paycheck.
2) His dress code doesn't involve tights or spandex.
3) He wears glasses.
4) He is respected by his peers for talents that he's cultivated through hard work and ability, rather than for his "supernatural gifts" which he never earned.
5) He never confuses physical domination with moral/ethical superiority
6) He's much easier to make into a Halloween Costume.

so guess what I dressed up as for Halloween?

Look, in the Subway. It's a Nerd! It's a (Lame)! no, it's SuperDork!

Honestly, this photo is so ridiculous as to make even me laugh through the embarrassment.

Just to be clear, I did not dress up as Superman in full, nor was i so (lame) as to dress strictly as Kent. I was in-transformation all evening, which would be about 500 times cooler if i wasn't the 2 billionth person to think up this costume idea.

A word of warning, though. If you ever decide to mock up as Kent, and need some internet help for the details, be wary of Google. A "Clark Kent" image search will net you some screen shots of Christopher Reeve, Dean Cain and Tom Welling, but if you have the "moderate safe search" off, because we're all adults here, just be ready for the flood of gay porn that will await you. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

So yeah, Clark is 'cool' in a strictly nerd-idolizing way, and I am equivalently 'cool' for the lengths to which I went to make such a simple costume so painfully detailed.

Because what is a reporter without his photo-ID press pass, a copy of the day's newspaper (with a relevant headline), and various other acoutrements? And Clark Kent is nothing without his uncooler-than-you glasses and not-very-snappy khakis.

Luckily, the glasses and trousers were no problem thanks to my unstylish past and inability to get rid of things. Even though I didn't own a Superman emblem T ($20 to purchase), I managed to make do through the clever use of an cereal box (in the S you can just make out "frosted bites [of] shredded wheat").

I won't claim it was a total success, and to be honest to subtelties of my costume were completely lost when I got down to the insanity of the Village Halloween Parade, where anything short of white-face, green-hair, purple-jacket Jokers just weren't cutting it this year.

Still, I had my creative outlet (however limited and conservative it may be) and got to walk around a major Metropolis for a few hours feeling like a secret super-hero. There's probably some deep pyschological analysis that could be inserted here, but before you go too far, realize that Kent just barely beat out my #2 costume idea. I was going to grab an old-tshirt and using Sharpie write "Go Ceilings!" on it. Totally stolen from an on-line costume search, the "ceiling fan" costume probably would have actually been better, faster, funnier and more comfortable.

But hey, it's not every day that you get to dress up as a non-superhero. Or maybe I just like Kent (as Reeve's bumbling-but-noble portrayal) more than I actually like ceilings.

Weber
::(lame) Texpatriot