How to be a Badass

Finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is a pretty wonderful feeling, conveying that sentiment to the person by presenting them with a symbol of your lifelong commitment is even better.  But if you really want to graduate to the level of 'badass', you've got to take it one step further.

Common options include grandiose proposal circumstances (Jumbotrons, sky writing, name etched into their souffle', etc.), ridiculous diamond sizes, and celebrity guest appearances (yes, Snoop, I'll marry him!).

As with so many choices, this lame texpatriot opted for d) None of the Above.

Besides, how could I hope to choose the right ring for Shelley without letting her know that I was looking?  We've been dating almost 7 years, so certain key features were set: no yellow gold, nothing impractical, no pink stones.  But that's all I had to go on.  What the hell else HAD we been talking about for all those years?

I could have just proposed, and then let her pick out a ring she loved... But I think part of proposing is 'doing the best you can' and then being accepted, whatever you've got, for all your good & bad choices.  In other words, if you really love the guy, and he has bad taste in jewelry or anything else, that's something you'll have to accept if you plan to be with him forever.

So letting Shel choose the ring was out.  Equally, me choosing a ring from a catalogue of several hundred generic rings didn't really sound too intimate either.  What ring says, "Shelley"?  Option 143b or option 338c?  Again, I deferred to option d).

Luckily, this time I actually had an option d): NewYorkweddingring.com

This is a small business run by a goldsmith named Sam Abbey in downtown manhattan, just a block or two from the World Trade Center site.

It's a simple setup: 1 room live-in apt, tons of specialized jeweler's tools, a few precious metals, and a computer.  After a few planning meetings to discuss design elements, materials, and to purchase a diamond together, you show up early in the morning, and 

over the course of an oh-so-brief 16 hour day, the two of us made Shelley's wedding ring.

That's right.  

I made Shel's engagement ring.  

From scratch.  Like a biscuit.  

Because she deserves it, and I was being bonafide badass.

Here's how:

Take the band material (a solid platinum cylinder) and cut it down to the appropriate length.

Flatten to the desired width.

File the ends.

Annealing with blow torch - basically, super-heat until it glows orange (pretty!); this makes it more pliable.

Bend into a ring, then shape & bend more and more until 2 ends touch.

place on a cone to set size/shape; hammer until ring is a circle.

Annealing again, this time to "lock" the ring shape.

File more.

Torch-Solder (actually, brazing)the 2 ends together (now a complete ring).

Practice engraving on a silver dud piece.

Engrave decorative elements onto platinum band.

Cut an "x" into the top of the ring for the setting to fit into.

File the X smooth.

Drop in the Setting.

Torch-Solder (again, braze) the setting in place.

File / sand / polish the interior.

Super-polish the exterior, especially the setting.

File down interior of setting (to "catch" diamond).

test diamond fitting, remove, re-file setting, test, re-file, etc etc etc.

Once diamond is snug-fit into setting, gently bend-over top of setting arms.

Submerse the ring in quick-hardening plastic.

Put ring+plastic in a vice, let cool/harden.

Use hammer firmly bend/lock setting arms down on top of diamond.

file/sand/polish setting arms, reduce size as desired.

remove plastic in boiling water.

polish polish polish polish polish polish polish.

POLISH.

P-O-L-I-S-H.

Buff it.

Box it.

Badass.

You can find more photos here (if you're still interested after all that!)

The proposal, pre-proposal plans, post-proposal happiness; all of these are good and perhaps even more impotant than all the sillyness outlined above.

You can find Shelley's perspective of the actual proposal on her blog

Everyone's fiance is special - if they weren't, no one would bother with all the work of proposing. So when I say that Shelley is special to me, that she's one of a kind, this should be no surprise given the time we've been together, me proposing, etc.

But we now have a lifetime together, and it's a life we're going to have to make together.  And I got it off to a good start by making the symbol of that commitment with the same two hands that (sporadically) type this blog.

I haven't rebuilt her a car.  I haven't constructed her dream house.  I don't have any idea how to go about sewing her wedding dress.

But I did make her engagement ring, and that's at least a good start... 

at being a badass.

Weber

::(lame) Texpatriot