Vamos United

Since my last DC United post, things have not been looking up for the woeful squad or its (heart throw) star player-turned-manager, Ben Olsen. While my last trip to RFK stadium saw the team pull off a victory over the almost-as-bad Philly Union, they since took a beating from CA-based Chivas USA, leaving their record at 4-16-3. Also in the interim, the Red-and-Black faced off against Eastern Conference leaders Columbus Crew in the semi-finals of the US Open cup, a multi-league tournament in which DC has traditionally fared well (won 2008, runner-up 2009), and - given their MLS record - basically its only hope of saving face from the 2010 campaign.

Crew ended DC United's Cup hopes - barely, in over-time, and against a depleted 10-man squad after a questionable DC red card - and will go on to face the Seattle Sounders on Oct 5 to close the tournament. But before that, and in fact a mere 3 days after getting knocked out of the Cup, DC had to face Columbus again - this time in a regular MLS season match. Ironically, the "season" contest effectively "mattered" less than out-of-league play due to DC's abysmal standings. And this was the game - the rematch - that Shelley and I went to watch on a beautiful almost-fall day in sunny DC.

Our motives were not entirely spirit-driven. While the prior match was awesome to behold (I watched on TV) - if ultimately disappointing - it drew only 3,411 fans to the 45,000 capacity RFK stadium. Wednesday or not, that's embarrassing for any professional sport save... bowling? To boost attendance, both matches were declared "College Week" and anyone with an active .edu e-mail address was allowed to purchase premium tickets at 1/2 of the cheap-seat price. So we bought two for Saturday.

Prior to the match, and I'm sure in yet a further effort to drum up supporters, the team hosted one of its free pre-game concerts, this time with the respectable local indie/alt band, US Royalty. The band was appreciably good, and managed to stick to original tunes - rather than crowd-pleasing covers - for most of their set. Finishing off with the 80s rock anthem "We're not Gonna Take it," while popular, didn't prove prophetic. Mostly, the combination of sanctioned "College night" and the usual tailgate festivities did little more than serve license for thick-necked 20-year olds to pound down cans of Natty Light, discard the crumpled aluminum remains in piles on the ground, and complain - loudly - about how much the port-o-pots "reeked." To be honest, one walk through the brew-swilling meat-market of late-teen testosterone and come-get-me self-esteem issues and I thanked my stars, my gods, and my skechers that this world was far and permanently behind me.

The official fan clubs were present as well, in more comfortable, relaxed (adult) fashion. The everyman Barra-Brava ate tacos and fajitas off the back of pick up trucks, with the clever use of a PODS storage container to keep the various games, chairs, and cooking equipment for the season. The more upscale Screamin' Eagles fan club had a full-duty mobile home parked permanently on the side of the parking lot to serve as home base for its sprawling tents, buffet lines, boom boxes, private toilets and sponsored sport chairs. The renaissance-dressed ticket distributor made an illogical addition, but her short red-and-black corset drew few complaints.

One thing I did not realize before moving to DC is just how popular the game "corn-hole" is. Still not sure if it's an East Coast thing or a soccer fan thing, but the game is utterly widespread and much beloved for its frustrating simplicity (see complete rules). Two 3' x 5' platforms are propped up at a slight angle facing each other 20ish feet apart. Each platform has a hole in the top middle, and may otherwise be painted with various, team-specific designs. Playing alone or in teams of two, individuals toss bean bags from behind one platform at the other. Any bag that remains on the platform at the end of the round is good for 1 point. Any bags that go down the hole count double. It is - importantly - easy enough to play that it can be done while drunk, even quite drunk. This is, I assume, the better part of its allure. Also, bean bags don't pose much of a threat as either misguided, or malacious, projectiles. The main reason I assume Horse Shoes faded out of style in the Frat party circuit.

As game time approached, Shelley and I made our way into the faded glory of RFK's once-magnificence. Rather than take directly to our seats, we opted to wander a bit, and soon found ourselves in the large ground-level section behind the away goal which is set aside as the "VW Garage." As the major sponsor of DC United, VW gets a lot of odd perks, and also provides various benefits to the audience. For example, the first 50 VWs to attend any DC United home game get free parking. There is a giant VW logo which is rolled out covering the entire mid-field circle for all of pre-game and half-time. I can only imagine what the negotiations for all these trinket ad-spaces and quid-pro-quoi must have entailed. The Garage is a huge section in which not only the seats, but the entire bleachers, have been removed. In its place, VW puts up an area that is 60% kids fun zone, 30% new car showroom, and 10% unreserved field-level viewing. Moon walks, doodle-on white Beetle, and the latest souped-up VW models are joined by a large hut containing under-16s playing MLS 2010 video games. There's also a fair amount of VW promotional materials to be given away, and we indulged ourselves just a bit.

Waiting for our free screen-print-on-the-spot t-shirts to dry, we caught the first 20 minutes of the game from about 15 feet shy of the corner kick. It was Awesome! Every time DC made a strong charge down the field, the action came to us. DC's newest star, the locally-grown youngster Andy Najar (pron: "nuh-har"), as playing on our side, and if I had any hesitancy in my fervor for the guy's skills, it was totally eradicated by watching his footwork and poise up close. That kid is the real deal, and though he was brought up in the DC U-18 academy, I can only hope he stays with the team a few more years. He has also become a crowd favorite, and I found myself blurting out after one especially nice move to blow past 2 defenders and place a nice cross, "Well done, Andy!"

The extremely large man in a beer-stained t-shirt who constantly screamed at the goal keeper about how much he "sucked" was a small downer. Apparently a regular, the security guard on duty nearby was not accustomed to ignoring such behavior, and only the intervention of his pepper-haired superior saved the do-right guard from mistakenly telling a season ticket holder what he thought of him, which was sort of too bad.

We eventually moved into our actual ticketed seats - event staff is not especially picky about seat assignments given the number of vacant chairs in every section - only to discover that our College Week tickets had put us amidst a crowd of College students. Drunk, macho, and/or wantonly flirtatious, it was quickly company we preferred not to keep. Halftime gave us an excuse to go in search of papusas, and we opted to find alternative seating for the second half.

The game itself was hard-fought by both teams, and about as close as their Wednesday match. On that night, DC lead all evening 1-0 after an early goal, only to be tied in the 89th minute by a desperate Crew. In the first period of sudden-death overtime, Columbus flexed their 1-man advantage again, essentially out-lasting and over-powering their opponent. In our match, both teams displayed flashes of brilliance, but clever crosses failed to connect, and distance cracks went wide. In fact, the only goal scored in the entire game came off an inexcusible error on the part of DC's netminder, Bill Hamid. On a routine pass-back, the Columbus forward suddenly charged Hamid, who misjudged how much time he had to dawdle. Flustered, he tried to quickly kick the ball out, only to trip up on his own ankle. The ball squirted a bare 5 yards - directly to the defender - who made short work of dribbling once around Hamid, and then a soft pass into the back of the net.

I didn't actually see it happen. I was off using the loo when I heard the crowd erupt in moans. Something bad had come to pass, and I soon realized it was a Columbus goal, but it wasn't until the next day, catching the game in replay on Fox Sports Net, that I understood the appropriate depth of the DC despair. The 2010 season has aptly been described

The game continued, but DC could never muster the equalizer they needed, and Columbus was content to rest of their 1 point lead. It did not make for the most beautiful football ever played in RFK stadium, but luckily with the resident Redskins tradition (1961-96), it probably wasn't the ugliest either. After more than her fair share of sports time, Shelley nestled down with a tome. She didn't miss much.

It's been a hard year for DC United, and perhaps also for DC United fans. The glory days of years past seem ever more distant, and the constant changes in coaching and talent positions don't make perceivable impacts. While the rise of Najar and Hamid - both DC products - is encouraging, the demise/departure of DC legends like Ben Olsen and Jaime Moreno leave painful potholes in the road to recovery. A recent surprising last-second victory over 3rd-ranked Toronto FC, while welcome, does nothing to change the arc of the season.

With 6 games remaining in 2010, and one of those against LA Galaxy, more than anything DC just wishes it could start preparing for 2011. For the faithful, we're left with plenty of passion, but no clear vessel in which to invest it. Of the three remaining home games, I'll try to catch one. I'm always on the lookout for Najar and veteran Allsopp on local media. I wear my rally cap to games. And I'll wear my free VW screen-print shirt with pride. Even after its iconic Jaime Moreno no longer wears the black-and-red.

Weber

::(lame)Texpatriot