"Uh, you see, what we have here is what I like to call bhreakphast, he he."George Bush invaded the sovereign nations of Afghanistan, Iraq, and now my (former) local corner drug store. In what can only be described as an equivalent show of relative force, the Decider descended on Olmos Pharmacy on the corner of McCullough Ave & Hildebrand in San Antonio, TX. The combined might of coalition forces (including Secret Service, ATF, FBI, SAPD, and I'll bet one or two Trinity DCS) surrounded and subdued the former bastion of independence. Greeted, not as customers, but as occupiers, Mr. Bush cleared the former clientelle and quickly ordered his favorite Texas breakfast, "Gimme a bagel and one of them taco things."
As for exactly how close this hits to home, this particular Texpatriot formerly resided within 100 yards of this location, or within the established "Perimeter of Freedom" established for the occasion. Not only was this a favorite breakfast niche, it also served by night under the auspices of the Olmos Bharmacy, featuring such specialty drinks as the almost-unheard-of-brilliance of the Beershake. Believe it.
Asked what brought the President to San Antonio, he dodged, stating instead, "What's important is that the American people know how hard we're working to solve this financial crisis." To a confused press corps, he continued, "By flying Airforce One all the way to San Antonio for cheap, greasy breakfast, I'm saving the American Taxpayers my usual catering costs. And we all know how hard it is to solve self-perpetuating financial cluster-Fu@ks without a hearty breakfast."
Local residents were not impressed - a poor choice of location for Mr. Bush who managed to visit one of the only neighborhoods in San Antonio without dominant Republican support (no evidence of Presidential trips planned to the East side), and certainly marked a serious departure from his otherwise military-heavy agenda.The trip was brief, serving mostly to promote the locations new paint job, new ownership, and new "Sunday Bhrunch," which Mr. Bush made of point of stressing, "Is the Bhest Bhrunch in San Antonio. You'd Have to be Lo-Co to Miss Out on the Savings, With Meals Starting at Just $4.99"
At a time of intense political discourse throughout the country, and an even more intense campaign of politician personal debasement between Mssrs Obama, McCain, Biden and Palin, this reporter remains confused as to why Mr. Bush felt the need to glad-hand and grovel with the meek of Texas's 3rd largest city while, closer to home, Wallstreet continues to implode and Washington grinds to a halt over rhetoric.
Perhaps he's just fondly recalling the days when he could afford to run around the country campaigning and eating cheap chow without a care in the world - just 4 years ago.
As for me, next time Airforce One is headed South, let me know. With two of the premier taco huts within sight of Olmos, I could use the cover of invasion to make a real Chorizo plunder on the side.
Weber
::(Lame) Texpatriot
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We were trying to drive east on Hildebrand at that moment. We thought there'd been an accident at McCullough and turned around in the street. Grr.
ReplyDeleteAnd Ryan's right about the Beershake, folks. He prefers the Shiner; I like the Guinness.
You know, seeing the Commander in Chief in font of a Bhar, I'm already somewhat nostalgic for GWB's presidency. It was a time when we really believed in things--sometimes completely irrational and nonsensical things--but still, people were convinced.
ReplyDeleteI think we may look back on these years with a fond sense of gratitude for the firm, steady, unyielding, completely rigid hand of a warm and comforting yet somewhat verbally befuddled president whose calm in the face of any and all crises made us confident that either someone had the situation under control or that he was so oblivious that he couldn't possibly take any action (rash or calculated) to make things worse.
Yes, it was a time when America really came together--to express our blind rage and lash out at the first two places we could think of and then actually achieve victory. And not just any kind of victory, but the best kind, the kind where we can keep on achieving victory, day after day, year after year--a lasting and continuous victory.
And I have also been grateful for the opportunity to see great literature brought to life for me--like Darkness at Noon, The Gulag Archipelago and the works of Orwell--because the most important principle I have learned from the man standing at Hildebrand and McCullough is that freedom is so important that we can't have it in order to continue having it and that the best way to keep people from breaking into your house and robbing you is to occasionally go to the wrong side of town and burn down some poor people's houses.
And so, I feel that having the President in town was not an invasion, but a liberation--and a chance to reflect on the good old days of calm executives who didn't completely abdicate our sovereignty for the security of another country.
Great, now I want a beershake and we don't have a blender. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteAhh! What a scary sight...
ReplyDelete